The Funny Side of Politics: Wit and Wisdom from Politicians

Politics and Politicians are inseparable aspect of our lives. We may not like Politicians or even agree with them but at least we can laugh at them when they get funny. . . and also vote them out of power too! Hahaha. . .

If you can’t convince them, confuse them. ~Harry S Truman

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. ~Anonymous

Politics, n: Poly “many” + tics “blood-sucking parasites” ~Larry Hardiman

Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author Unknown

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. ~Earnest Benn

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. ~Maureen Murphy

Any 20 year-old who isn’t a liberal doesn’t have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn’t a conservative doesn’t have a brain. ~Anonymous

Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant. ~Henri Queuille

If you want something said, ask a man…if you want something done, ask a woman. ~Margaret Thatcher

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Anonymous

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen. ~Winston Churchill

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. ~Anonymous

You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln

I offer my opponents a bargain:  if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well. ~Len Deighton

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. ~Robert Byrne

Politics is a pendulum whose swings between anarchy and tyranny are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions. ~Albert Einstein

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say “elevator”, we say “lift”… they say “President”, we say “stupid psychopathic git. ~Alexai Sayle

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. ~Oscar Wilde

Naturally the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. ~Hermann Goering

In politics stupidity is not a handicap. ~Napoleon Bonaparte

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right. ~H.L. Mencken

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. ~Richard Armour

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson

Don’t vote, it only encourages them. ~Anonymous

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. ~Adlai E. Stevenson

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? ~Author Unknown

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Texas Guinan

Politics and politicians are an inseparable aspect of our lives. While we may not always like politicians or agree with their decisions, we can certainly find humor in their often perplexing antics. In this article, we’ll explore a collection of witty and insightful quotes about politics and politicians that provide a humorous perspective on this essential aspect of society. From the art of confusing opponents to the eternal struggle between democracy and liberty, these quotes shed light on the lighter side of politics.

The Art of Political Persuasion: Harry S Truman’s Approach

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S Truman

Harry S Truman, the 33rd President of the United States, had a knack for delivering witty and memorable quotes. In this statement, Truman humorously highlights a common tactic in politics—confusion. It’s a tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment that some politicians may resort to obfuscation when faced with the challenge of convincing others. While the quote may elicit a chuckle, it also serves as a reminder to approach political discourse with a discerning eye and a willingness to seek clarity amid the confusion.

The Consequence of Political Apathy: Plato’s Caution

“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.” – Plato

Plato, the ancient Greek philosopher, provides a thought-provoking perspective on the consequences of political apathy. His quote serves as a timeless reminder that abstaining from political involvement can lead to governance by individuals who may not possess the wisdom or competence required for effective leadership. It underscores the importance of active participation in the political process and the role citizens play in shaping the future of their society.

Democracy vs. Liberty: A Delicate Balance

“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” – Anonymous

This quote humorously encapsulates the tension between democracy and individual liberty. It paints a vivid picture of the potential pitfalls of unchecked majority rule in a democratic society. While democracy is celebrated as a system that values the will of the majority, the quote reminds us that safeguarding the rights and freedoms of minority groups is equally vital. It serves as a lighthearted yet thought-provoking commentary on the delicate balance between collective decision-making and individual liberties.

The Essence of Politics: Larry Hardiman’s Definition

“Politics, n: Poly ‘many’ + tics ‘blood-sucking parasites.'” – Larry Hardiman

Larry Hardiman’s tongue-in-cheek definition of politics as “poly” (meaning many) and “tics” (blood-sucking parasites) offers a humorous take on the often contentious world of politics. While it may elicit laughter, the quote also reflects a common sentiment about politicians and the perception that they may prioritize self-interest over the welfare of the people they serve. It’s a reminder that political humor can be a cathartic way to cope with the complexities of governance.

Promises and Political Realities: Nikita Khrushchev’s Observation

“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.” – Nikita Khrushchev

Nikita Khrushchev, the former Premier of the Soviet Union, humorously captures the tendency of politicians to make extravagant promises, even when they may not be based on practical realities. The image of promising to build a bridge where there is no river serves as a metaphor for political grandiosity. While political pledges can be inspiring, Khrushchev’s quote encourages us to approach them with a healthy dose of skepticism and a critical eye toward feasibility.

The Family Tree of Politics: A Playful Perspective

“Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.” – Author Unknown

This humorous quote underscores the notion that political opponents often engage in extensive research to uncover any information that may tarnish their rivals’ reputations. It playfully suggests that aspiring politicians need not spend money on tracing their family trees; instead, their opponents will eagerly undertake this task. While it may provoke laughter, the quote offers a glimpse into the world of political rivalry and the lengths some individuals will go to gain an advantage.

The Complexity of Political Problem-Solving: Earnest Benn’s Take

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” – Earnest Benn

Earnest Benn’s quote provides a comical yet critical examination of the intricacies of political decision-making. It humorously suggests that politicians may have a knack for identifying problems, even when they are not inherently present, and then proceeding to apply ineffective solutions. While the quote offers a satirical perspective on politics, it also highlights the importance of informed and thoughtful governance.

The Dual Nature of Politicians: Maureen Murphy’s Insight

“The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.” – Maureen Murphy

Maureen Murphy’s quote playfully addresses the disparity in the number of female politicians compared to their male counterparts. The humor lies in the notion that maintaining two “faces” or personas—one for public office and one for personal appearance—can be quite challenging. While the quote is lighthearted, it draws attention to the unique challenges that female politicians may face in a predominantly male-dominated field.

Political Ideologies and the Passage of Time: An Anonymous Observation

“Any 20-year-old who isn’t a liberal doesn’t have a heart, and any 40-year-old who isn’t a conservative doesn’t have a brain.” – Anonymous

This quote humorously reflects the evolution of political ideologies over time. It suggests that youthful idealism often aligns with liberal perspectives, driven by compassion and empathy, while maturity and life experience may lead individuals toward more conservative viewpoints characterized by pragmatism. The quote serves as a reminder that political beliefs can change and evolve as individuals grow and gain diverse life experiences.

The Art of Delay: Henri Queuille’s Perspective

“Politics is the art of postponing decisions until they are no longer relevant.” – Henri Queuille

Henri Queuille’s quote offers a wry commentary on the practice of delaying political decisions, often to avoid taking a stand on contentious issues. It highlights the strategic aspect of politics, where postponing decisions may serve political interests. While the quote employs humor, it also serves as a reminder to hold politicians accountable for their actions and to advocate for timely and responsible governance.

The Power of Action: Margaret Thatcher’s Encouragement

“If you want something said, ask a man…if you want something done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher

Margaret Thatcher’s quote playfully emphasizes the power of action and determination. It challenges traditional gender roles and suggests that women are often more effective at turning words into deeds. While the quote carries a touch of humor, it celebrates the capability of individuals, regardless of gender, to effect meaningful change through action and determination.

Political Jokes and Their Consequences: An Anonymous Reflection

“The problem with political jokes is they get elected.” – Anonymous

This quote humorously suggests that political jokes, while entertaining, can have unintended consequences when politicians who are the subject of jests find themselves elected to office. It highlights the unpredictable nature of politics, where public sentiment can shift rapidly. While political humor may be a way to cope with the complexities of governance, this quote serves as a reminder of the real-world impact of political decisions.

The Aspirations of Leadership: Clarence Darrow’s Reflection

“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.” – Clarence Darrow

Clarence Darrow’s quote playfully reflects on the idea that anyone can aspire to the highest office in the land, the presidency. It humorously suggests that the accessibility of the presidency may be greater than initially believed. While it elicits a smile, it also underscores the democratic principles that underlie the American political system—a system that allows individuals from diverse backgrounds to pursue the highest political office.

The Art of Political Prophecy: Winston Churchill’s Observation

“A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.” – Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill’s quote provides a witty take on the expectations placed on politicians to predict the future accurately. It humorously acknowledges the challenging nature of political forecasting and the subsequent need for politicians to explain why their predictions did not come to pass. While the quote offers a chuckle, it also highlights the complex and often unpredictable nature of politics.

The Regular Change of Politicians: An Anonymous Comparison

“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.” – Anonymous

This humorous quote draws a parallel between politicians and diapers, suggesting that both should be changed regularly. While it elicits laughter, it also serves as a commentary on the cyclical nature of politics and the need for fresh perspectives and leadership. It reminds us of the importance of periodic elections and the role citizens play in shaping the direction of their governments.

The Limits of Deception: Abraham Lincoln’s Insight

“You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.” – Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln’s quote provides a sobering perspective on the limitations of deception in politics. It acknowledges that while politicians may succeed in deceiving some people for a time, they cannot maintain this deception indefinitely. Truth has a way of prevailing, and the quote reminds us of the importance of transparency, integrity, and accountability in political leadership.

In conclusion, these quotes offer a humorous yet insightful glimpse into the world of politics and politicians. They highlight the complexities, contradictions, and idiosyncrasies of political life, often with a touch of wit and satire. While politics may be a serious and consequential endeavor, these quotes remind us of the value of laughter and satire in navigating the often perplexing landscape of governance. Whether providing a moment of levity or prompting deeper reflection, these quotes invite us to engage with politics with a sense of humor and perspective.

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